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16 & pizza

 catlover (s)


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Pictures; Weheartit and Tumblr.
Basecode By; Ken
Skin By; Kai

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★ Adios 2013

 Assalamualaikum sisters and brothers. Hello we meet again hmm after some long time. As for today, 30th December 2013, im going to recall all those bitter-sweet memories i gained in 2013. 

 Yes, 2013 isnt the best year. But still, i feel so grateful for meeting some new friends, new seniors, new sisters and brothers and yeappy, new and first love. 
      
                 Folks once said that "People are going to change." 

 Yes. People changed. Me too. Ive changed to someone better, i guess. I learned so many things in 2013. Naaah, this is not a cliche answer or talk, no. I mean it. So, i told ya that i want to recall some memories with them.... so lets start with my friends.

 Zaqia moved to SAMURA. Well she changed a lot as well. She met some new friends, new environment and i feel so great to know that she has been living so well with Nady and all. Im happy for her happiness. She's still my bestfriend. No, they are still my bestfriends ; Alisha, Nady, Una, Sarah and all. Theyre all changed to someone better. Alhamdulillah. Kitaorang lepak sama masa school break. Kitaorang borak everynight without fail, in our whatsapp group (geng retis). We're still laughing together when we had someone among us making bad and sakai jokes and we love it. Kitaorang main left left group (Aku le tu tapi still invite balik). Trust me, they are superbly lovely and sakai.  I really love them, infinity and beyond. Goodluck to all my SBPians mates. A year to go, goodluck!

 Faridatul Aini, Areena Syairah, Uzmana Lina, Mazatun Ezanie, Hakim. My palkeeters. They're one of the reasons why im wearing my smiling today. The one yang selaluuuu tolong aku. They gave me suprises and one of them masa birthday aku, 30 April we're all going to choral speaking and masa 1 mei bila kitaorang ada hari puteri, they siram me with air daun hmmm seriously missing those moments so much! Plus, they made my days, they made me laugh, cry, and they heard my stories, and they made me be what i want to be. A year to go, my dearest palkeeters. Lets strive for our SPM! 28/28 straight As! insyaaAllah.

 Hazirah, Nadiah, Aliyah, Saben, Aniqah, Bo, Kak Todd, Kak Aunie, fatin and alllllllll my beautiful Kinabalu 3 mates.Im going to miss them so much. Mereka yang selalu dengar bebelan aku, yang baik yang jahat dengan aku, yang selalu gossip petang petang dengan aku.  Hazirah lah yang sanggup kejutkan aku pagi pagi selama 4 tahun, yang teman aku bila bila masa, yang sanggup dengar aku marah marah ke apa dan yang selaluuuu selimutkan bila aku dah tertidur dengan selimut yang masih dalam locker. Nadiah yang tolong aku belajar, yang tarik minat aku untuk belajar, yang tolong aku kalau aku nangis nangis tak sempat nak cover bila study last minute kat sekolah. Aliyah yang selalu jernihkan suasana kalau aku gaduh dengan nadiah, yang rajin bagi komik, yang rajin dengar lagu sama sama, yang selalu teman, yang selaluuuu belajar. Rindunyaaa dekat diaorang, next year we'll be seperated by dorms. So, thats so sad. Bakal merindui segala yang kita kongsi sama sama wahai selama 4 tahun, 3 tahun, 2 tahun. Thanks korang, yguys are the best! :-)

 Zaqwan Anuar. A guy that made a vow with me. A guy who wanted to build a relationship based on honesty. A guy who can make me smile and cry at the same time. Kenal dia masa awal tahun, baru je lagi but he really give an enormous impact to me, to my life. Siapa je lagi yang sanggup lari pergi 7E semata mata bila kawan cakap aku marah marah. Which is not his fault at all. Siapa je lagi yang sanggup balik lambat kena panjat pagar asrama semata nak online kejap nak wish goodnight. Siapa je yang sanggup minum coffee semata mata nk layankan jugak text walaupun penat bekerja. Siapa je yang sanggup tahan dengan aku ni? But he did. For months. Nothing last forever, and im okay with it. My first love really make me happy. It's okay tak lasting sampai akhirnya, ada sebab kenapa kita berjumpa, ada sebab juga kenapa kita tak boleh teruskan semua ni. People said, "jodoh kat tangan tuhan." Yeap. kalau ada jodoh, berjumpalah kita ya. Thanks for all the memories, im so sorry for making you stress for months. Be friend with you maybe is one of the the most unforgetable memories. Goodluck in your life, Jakwan, catlover, A, Pakci, Kakanda, tambi. May Allah shower you with happiness.

 Bila kenal dengan Zaqwan, ramai yang aku mula kenal. Kak Aiman Hanani Fairus yang cantik sangat, Amir Luqman Sanusi yang cool sangat, his friends like Aina Syakira, Zaien and all. Kenal diaorang buat pemandangan makin luas. Betul, ramai orang lagi berjaya daripada kita. Ramai orang lagi hebat daripada kita. And somehow, knowing them buat aku rasa bersemangat nak fight for my SPM. I want to be like one of them or mybe better! InsyaaAllah. Thanks for inspiring me though yguys never know this.:-)

 Theres a lot more people i met, experiences i gained but i cant write them all. As Hlovate said "The rest is history."  So, what can I say just... I'm so glad on what had happened to me along this 2013. I never regret on anything except not doing great in my studies, not being a good student or daughter to my parents and not being a good muslimah :,( All I can promised to myself is, 
"Im going to make myself better, in 2014. I will study harder for my SPM, I will be a good girl to everyone."

 I just want to spend a year without any regret in my future. 

 So, goodbye 2013. Hello 2014. 

 Assalamualaikum.

 Living room/30122013/5.56 p.m

 (Eleven is still gonna be my fav number)

★



Assalamualaikum and hi guys. Ssup everyone? It's been a really long time since last time I wrote here. So, hi again. I'm back with a bright smile this time. Hee.

So, what happen in my life along those 4 months back then? Ha ha ha okay. I want to let you know every single things. Hahahah okay tipu je takkanlah semua nak diceritakan ye dak? Hahaha.

27/3. 

I started to know someone. Okay lets call him 'ketlever'. He's 17 & Samurian (which is actually dia ni senior Zaqia lewww) He followed me dekat Twitter and we're just having some light conversations together. It's not that I had feelings for him that time, NO. I asked abt him to my friends and seniors yang study sana and they said 

"Oh, pengerusi angklung tu ke? Eh, nak tahu tak, naib pengerusi angklung tu makwe dia lah tu."

And I will just say "Ohh, lah yeke?" That's all. But then, things changed. I noticed theres something dekat dia yang attractive or idk. Maybe it's all because the way he talked to people, I mean the way he talked to his friends, junior, seniors and me. That's wht I called as sopan?? Hahahaha. Okay, but that's my point. seriously, for me, you dont have to be handsome macam Kwang Soo (cehh) but actually people will  love you by the way you talk and treat them. Peace.

31/05

So, I've been to Umrah last month. Hehehe. And it's amazing. It just - I dont know. Words cant describe how much I love Madinah so much. We met Prof Kamil and his wife, Puan Roza too. Yeayy. And I met someone and make friends with so many people from Malaysia, Indonesia and even Turkey :) Alhamdulillah.

15-06

I went to Langkawi for "Lawatan exco" Naaawhh, Im not. Saja je dapat peluang menyibuk. Hahaha.

19-07

Inteview for MPP. Hahaha unfortunately, tak dapat pun. But, nevermind. Bak kata along ;

"Jangan risau. Allah taknak bebankan kau dengan dosa lebh lah tu. Kau dahlah budak jahat, lagi nak pegang jawatan HICOM."

Hahaha even nampak macam siut but yeah, actually I know apa yang along cakap is a true shit.

27/07

TODAY IS ZAQIA'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! Happy birthday my dear lil micik. I miss you like hell like seriously. Maynn, gotta be kidding me that you're already 16??!!!!! Hahaha this is damn so sad ; my first time in a long time, we didn't celebrate our birthday together. But thats okay. I know that your sunshine (uweek) will give you, the best birthday day ever!!!! May Allah ease everything that you do and one more thing, I love you, micik. I love our friendship. It's been 10 years and Im still counting till our last breath :) Happy birthday, Zaqia binti Alwi, the cutest friend ever! 

P/S : Hi there, I mean , Hi ZA. 


★ Goes On.

 Hello May. 2013. Wow. I'm sixteen now and im proud for it. No. I'm proud for growing up. No. I'm proud of everything.

 I'm so proud to my friends. But, yeah. They're all gone now. Transfer to other schools. And me too. I've transfered to a new school for 4 days. Sekolah Menengah Sains Johor, Kluang. Then, I went back to SUKSES (for some reasons)

 I miss Zaqia. Too much. Idk. Now, I'm deadly agree with this phrase
"Orang bila dah jauh, baru rasa rindunya."

And yeah I've felt the pain, the sorrow and everything. How I wish I could return back to my past times and cheer up all things and times when we're all still together. How I wish we will be 15 forever. That's okay. At least, we could hang around and have a great time together during our school beaks? rightio?

 I'm not going to say anything about this one guy ; ZA. But since everyone is talking about him & me. Okay, lets do this. I'm not getting into him. We're just friends. New friends. And I hope yguys will stop making fun of us. Okay.

 Thats all my hambar post. Im sorry but hell no, not sorry. Hahahahha kay shut up.

 Assalamualaikum. Have a great holiday! :)
★ 2012



So, I'm sorry for my stupid previous post. Hmmm I'm so done with myself. Btw, hi KYO thanks for the following kehkehkeh. I love his tweets so much. Soothing myself with his great poems sometimes. 

 So, actually. I'm thinking about this upcoming new year. I mean our new year. Our 2013. I'm going to miss everything in 2012. Of course, part of me still want to stick with 2012 mood but the other part of me I want to change the mood to 2013 eagerly.

 Well guys. Lemme ask you something.

 Do you know that feeling when we miss something but we can't do anything to get rid of it? Do you know that feeling when we want something but we can't do anything to get it? Do you know that feeling when we want to say something but we can't say any single thing of it? Do you know that feeling when we love someone but we can't tell that person how much that our love stand for him? Do you know that feeling when your love one cheated on you but you can't even say anything and just cry? And, do you know that feeling when we afraid to lose someone but we can't tell him for his own good?

 I know that feeling. I've been through all that feeling along this beautiful 2012. 

 Tbh, that feelings really hurts me. A lot. It gives me lots of pains and left it with the scars. Nothing can heal it. Nothing. But that scars actually teach me something special. Something that I learn during  my 15 years old. Something what we call strength. Strength.

 What I gain from those pains and scares are actually strength. In my 2012 year, I learn to be strong. I learn to be studyholic. I learn to be pure. I learn to be honest. I learn to be a good student. I learn to be a good lover. I learn to be a good friend, I learn to be a good muslim. And I learn to be me. Myself. 

 I've made so many mistakes in 2012. And I have to admit that I'm actually regretting all that. How I wish I could ever turn back the times, undo them and try to fix everything. But unfortunately. I can't. Haha. Nevermind. I am a human. And humans do mistakes everytime. There's no word perfection in my life but half perfection is my word of life. 

 So actually. What I really want to say is : I just want to highlight to everyone that don't worry or feel bad with your past. Your past is the reason why you feel strong today and in the future. So, while we're still young. Do mistakes. Cry always. Smile more. And be in trouble even more. Gain your strength.

Live while we young. Laugh. Be bitchy. But stay with your iman. Tepuk dada tanya selera. 

 No matter what happen in your 2012, believe me. You will miss it in the future. So smile. Night.










★ Happy Birthday

This is boring. Stupid reading for you. Stop reading. Thank you.

I want diz for my next year diary. Thanks.



So hi membars. Hows my life, huh? Well....... Diz iz my life.


Sowatz happening here is.... hmm I don't have any things to share. I don't have any of sweet conversations to share with yguys. I don't have anything in my life. Hmm, nope. That's a lie. I have my families, friends and Allah of course. But, I don't have someone to share my things. I mean, to share my mengada words with. My mengada moments with. My stupid act with. Yeah. I want someone to be there, with me. Text me, call me and wish me a simple goodnight when we end our conversation via text. I don't want a lovely and mushy jiwangs stuffs with him. I just want him. To be with me. Support me. Hear my stupid stories. Hear my un-conditional situation. I don't want to have a boyfriend. I want to have a good boy bestfriend. Can't I? 
I am mengada ngada. Yes, I am. So sorry. But, this is one of my best wishes. I want a boy best friend. 

Hi, there. Be my boy best friend? Stupid whore will ask you this. But, lemme be this kind of whore tonight. 

So, hi there. Be my boy best friend? 

I am. Stupid. 






























★ To Be Honest.




i want diz for my birthday. K, thanks. 

 I want to have a better life. Help me with it. I can't stand with my pathetic life. Pathetic look. Life isn't that easy for me. I have problems and I have to make it through by myself. Alone. Why am I saying that I'm alone? Yeah, true. I have families, I have friends. But I don't want to let them know my problems. I don't know, I feel stupid with it. With myself. To be honest, I hate my life now. 



Girls, do you ever feel like the way I am? When your crush said something about his feeling and you always hope that it was you who makes he feels better and smiles. When he says something lovely, you've been always hoping for a miracle to happen and the girl that he'd talked all the time is you. That feeling. To be honest, I hate my stupid feeling. 



Dear you, proposed me for real, pls? Mr. A. Yeah, you. 12/12/12 will be good for us. No more playing stuffs and we will be real. Thank you for being aware. 

And to be honest. I miss Aslam. He's gone, for real. Assalamuailakum.
★ Study Well


Assalamualaikum. Just a short post, I hope. So, SPM is just around the corner, I know. And I really hope for the excellent result for my friends and my seniors. Break the legs, guys. Especially, for my lovely cousin Ayie and my lovely Lembu x 

 Just a few more words before I end my post.

Jeruk, I'm sorry for everything. I don't know why did you hate me now. And, I'm sad. I really feel bad for making you hate me this much. And I hate it. May Allah bless your life. Peace.

And Hamdi , my bilaveddd boypreng kau memang nak kena puiiii jahat nak mampui. hahahahah. BYE FOREVER AH. Taknak kawan kau lagi. (Bagi seposen kalau nak kawan balik) hahahhaa kbye.